So Season 2 of Insecure is over and if you haven't watched the show or have no idea what I am talking about – who are you and what are you doing with your life? Not only is this show real af (it's not some plot that only happens in movies; FUBU) it's also produced by Issa Rae aka my awkward sister/aunt/cousin.
I'm digressing, back to Molly.
Not only does Molly have an INCREDIBLE style (I literally go on Ayanna J's twitter to get details on outfits I cannot afford), she knows exactly what she wants and works towards it, except for her love life, that's really a mess. I mean I'm not on her “I need a man and I need him now” phase. (Can never be me tbh 🤷🏾♀️).
She is a “should” person (as her therapist points out). As am I.
It is assumed “should” individuals believe the world owes them and they are entitled to their wants as if that's a bad thing, lol.
I believe there's absolutely nothing wrong with being a “should person” as long as you can back it up. Don't be a all talk and no action entitled bitch, lol.
I'm a “should” person because I plan everything meticulously. I know and I'm fully aware of what I want and take the required steps to get it. So why should I doubt the outcome? I am “entitled” to what I want because I've done what needed to be done. Sorry.
People see the end results and shout entitled but I've grinded for this.
Entitled. Grinded. Polar opposites.
“Should” people work for what they want. I'm really not about that “could” lifestyle. Excuse-moi? This is a gamble? Gambling with my life?
I think not!
I'm all about certainty, should is all about certainty and I love certainty. I'm definitely not here for a “wishy-washy let's see how it goes” mentality. Why should you wait and see how it goes when you can control how it goes.
Wait; linger; relax. Control; work; hard.
The older I get the more I realise that you can work extremely hard and get rewarded with absolutely nothing. However, personally this doesn't derail me from having a “should” mentality as it provides me with an achievable timeline/guideline of what to expect and do.
I'm not oblivious to the fact that our shoulds don't always come to fruition as life isn't maths unfortunately, but I'd rather have a should mindset - give it my 100% and fully believe my plans will definitely work out than be half-hearted about anything.
“Could” to me just screams undeviating potential. It seems to be a last resort when all your shoulds don't happen after you've done everything necessary so you hope in the coulds in order to keep your shoulds on track. Does this make sense? I hope it does. Read again if it does not x
I could see the positives of being a “could” person. For starters, you just go with the flow and aren’t too fussed when things go south.
It's just seems so unpredictable for me and I'm not a fan if I’m being honest. I love to plan. I enjoy planning. Give me something to look forward to (with certainty, you cannot be selling me dreams) and be excited about.
Something I can focus on to motivate me all the way; a structured strategic plan with an end game.
If you are a “could” person let me know the positives of thinking this way because I can't seem to see any or grasp the concept.
It'll be nice to know what other people think as I am truly intrigued by this whole concept. Are you a should or could person? Are you both? Is it possible to be both?
Who doesn't love a good bargainnn?
I'm doing things a bit different and not only including new ins; I have included previous items I featured that are now on sale and are still in stock in a range of sizes. I have also been looking at a few sales pages and have found really good bits which I have included to help you save some coins and maximise your spending. (amen)
Now it's time to spend the money saved on more items! (only with your consent though)
This is just the awkward period between summer and autumn (RIP Summer 2017 1.0 & 2.1 June 9-June 15, July 2- July 17) where you're not quite sure what to wear due to the weather being as indecisive as I am. I've really just been into casual outfits I can just throw on and requires no fuss whatsoever.
Also, high street stores are looking a bit dry and I don't know why (hint: SALESSSS). However, I managed to find some new items I want to share with you (I really wanted to include the FentyxPuma slides but they are completely sold out).
Please let me know if you managed to grab something in the sale or just in general. I would also really appreciate it if you comment the category you are most interested in so I can feature it more often.
*none of these images are mine and are featured on the respective websites. affiliate links may be used. Student discount through MYUNIDAYS
COME IN PIECE
G U E S T S
Going with your gut instinct i.e. not caring what others think because surprise surprise, it's your life and your circumstance. You really shouldn't let someone's opinion of you limit you or define who you become; opinions of others are shaped by what they presume you are about, they're not facts. People are going to have an opinion on you anyway so why not just do what makes you happy and forget about opinions. They aren't even actual facts, they are just opinions. What is actually wrong with us? How are we letting #AlternativeFacts govern our lives; I'm sure in hindsight we will all find this very silly.
A guest cannot come into your home and begin dictating what you can and can't do, can they?
U N R E A L
Whatever it is you want to do, start. Stop on your own accord and not due to the echoes of others. Even if you get bored after two hours you have that experience and hey, you started something and did something completely new. There are no rules to life, just consequences. Life doesn't come with a manual or a survival guide so be open to exploring new and maybe unconventional ways to do whatever it is you intend to do. There isn't a certain “route”. Society makes up rules and unsolicited guidance so we all don't go crazy with power(an actual debate for another occasion). Poke at life and you are guaranteed a result (thank you Newton for enlightening us)
T H R I V E
I used to go around thinking I was unstoppable. I was to some extent, I was very relentless in getting what I wanted. Others perception of me didn't limit me because I never dwelt on it. You get older, start to realize you are not in total control and you start to limit yourself, focussing on all the reasons why everything is impossible (completely ignoring the possibilities). Most times we just become limited by our mindset and forget you can do whatever you want with the lemons life hands you.
Fair enough, there are obstacles and everything in life isn’t easy-peasy but I still want to be unstoppable. I will be unstoppable despite my situation. WATCH me be unstoppable. Guys, never give up; it’s really over once you do. Keep pushing keep fighting till it gets better, it will get better. One way or another.
Don't choose to be powerless over your own life.
June is over; it’s officially summer #NoSleepTillSeptember
Currently obsessing over slides and white slogan tees; it has really been t-shirt weather for the past couple of weeks and they look good with everything!
It’s almost as if I have been peeling back each layer of clothing as the days go by and now I’m all bout that crop tops and no jacket life. There is no denim edit for this month; it’s been too hot to wear jeans so that’s my excuse for abandoning denim. I just feel it deserves a bit of a break?
I have a thing for culottes at the moment and I have zero regrets. They are just so comfortable and don’t get enough credit in my humble opinion.
Comment down below your favourite item from each category or overall favourite.
*none of these images are mine and are featured on the respective websites. affiliate links may be used. Student discount through UNiDAYS
NO DENIM ALLOWED
The balance between being contented with where you are and wanting to be better can be a very difficult thing to achieve and may sometimes feel mutually exclusive. I’ve certainly been in positions where I felt I had it too good to complain and I should just be contented the situation; I have also felt as if I was settling for less and not making use of my full potential by being contented. Sometimes I just feel as though it’s a lose-lose situation however way you look at it, get frustrated and just do whatever I want (which is what you shouldn’t do lol).
Before my birthday, I was feeling sorry for myself and like a bum. Then at the start of May something vital happened that made me feel I should just be contented and not try to be better which completely broke me because I am constantly thinking of ways to be better! I am grateful I got out of that rut and found the balance between being contented whilst aiming to be better.
Here are the essential things that helped me:
Content is not settling for less
Most times we equate content to settling for less which is utterly bogus.
in a state of peaceful happiness.
I don’t know about you but I’m in no way happy or at peace when I give up.
Settling for less is self pity, accepting defeat and we do not do that. Contentment is tranquil, beautiful and we should all aim for it.
Whenever I feel overwhelmed with life, I try to bring myself to a place of contentment by placing emphasis on not being fixated with being better; instead of shutting down and wallowing in self pity remind yourself of the times you have gotten (and will) it right.
"denying it means you went through shit
Never be content with failing
Listen, it’s okay to take Ls sometimes (don’t let social media deceive you). In fact you will accumulate a couple of Ls in your lifetime and that’s perfectly okay. The most important thing is really how you recover from and deal with those losses; you shouldn’t be contented with your failures but you shouldn’t dismiss them either. Acknowledge them and learn from them. I know certain setbacks I didn’t want to accept at the time but have really built me up and have helped me enormously. Think about it this way: denying it means you went through shit for no reason, like your name is Bob (no offence to all the Bobs out there).
I guess the most important thing is not to become contented with mediocrity because failing is really inevitable. If you haven’t had some sort of drawback you’re simply residing in your comfort zone or you haven’t tried hard enough. There is no such thing as an instant success story.
Your only focus should be yourself
The statement someone is in a much worse situation than you are right now is true but there’s also someone that is in a way better place than I am; Yara Shahidi is 17, that is all I am saying. So when is it appropriate to consider people that are “below” you and when do you consider to look up to people and be better? Solution: Stay in your lane. Comparison is the thief of joy and constantly comparing yourself to people would by no means bring you happiness/content. Always do what works for you, focus on you and not what everyone else is doing.
Yes, you want to accomplish all these amazing things but if you don’t look back and appreciate how far you’ve come you could start to feel inadequate and as though you’re not doing enough or not doing anything at all!
So be truly contented with all of yourself and achievements, it will literally be impossible to enjoy any form of success if you’re not contented.
the most important thing is
Hello, I'm Ayo and welcome to my soon to be exciting world! Join me as I go through life's ups and downs which leads to me learning more about life and myself.