The balance between being contented with where you are and wanting to be better can be a very difficult thing to achieve and may sometimes feel mutually exclusive. I’ve certainly been in positions where I felt I had it too good to complain and I should just be contented the situation; I have also felt as if I was settling for less and not making use of my full potential by being contented. Sometimes I just feel as though it’s a lose-lose situation however way you look at it, get frustrated and just do whatever I want (which is what you shouldn’t do lol). Before my birthday, I was feeling sorry for myself and like a bum. Then at the start of May something vital happened that made me feel I should just be contented and not try to be better which completely broke me because I am constantly thinking of ways to be better! I am grateful I got out of that rut and found the balance between being contented whilst aiming to be better. Here are the essential things that helped me: Content is not settling for less Most times we equate content to settling for less which is utterly bogus. content1 /kənˈtɛnt/ adjective in a state of peaceful happiness. I don’t know about you but I’m in no way happy or at peace when I give up. Settling for less is self pity, accepting defeat and we do not do that. Contentment is tranquil, beautiful and we should all aim for it. Whenever I feel overwhelmed with life, I try to bring myself to a place of contentment by placing emphasis on not being fixated with being better; instead of shutting down and wallowing in self pity remind yourself of the times you have gotten (and will) it right. "denying it means you went through shit Never be content with failing Listen, it’s okay to take Ls sometimes (don’t let social media deceive you). In fact you will accumulate a couple of Ls in your lifetime and that’s perfectly okay. The most important thing is really how you recover from and deal with those losses; you shouldn’t be contented with your failures but you shouldn’t dismiss them either. Acknowledge them and learn from them. I know certain setbacks I didn’t want to accept at the time but have really built me up and have helped me enormously. Think about it this way: denying it means you went through shit for no reason, like your name is Bob (no offence to all the Bobs out there). I guess the most important thing is not to become contented with mediocrity because failing is really inevitable. If you haven’t had some sort of drawback you’re simply residing in your comfort zone or you haven’t tried hard enough. There is no such thing as an instant success story. Your only focus should be yourself The statement someone is in a much worse situation than you are right now is true but there’s also someone that is in a way better place than I am; Yara Shahidi is 17, that is all I am saying. So when is it appropriate to consider people that are “below” you and when do you consider to look up to people and be better? Solution: Stay in your lane. Comparison is the thief of joy and constantly comparing yourself to people would by no means bring you happiness/content. Always do what works for you, focus on you and not what everyone else is doing. Yes, you want to accomplish all these amazing things but if you don’t look back and appreciate how far you’ve come you could start to feel inadequate and as though you’re not doing enough or not doing anything at all! So be truly contented with all of yourself and achievements, it will literally be impossible to enjoy any form of success if you’re not contented. the most important thing is
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THE SUMMER DRESS Here’s my round up for May. My first curation. I’m excited. I purposely excluded anything gingham from this as it is all that’s in your face at the moment; also those wrap tops with huge sleeves (which btw I love) but you literally can find these sorts of items anywhere as they are a major trend right now. Even though we hardly get any sun in the UK, it’s still summer so it is only ideal to inject some colourful items. It doesn't matter if it's summer or not you always need a bomb jacket! Outerwear really is part of the outfit; it adds that extra something something to it. If you want to be on trend with outerwear, colourful biker jackets (both suede and leather) are what you should consider going for. Let me know your favourite item(s) and also suggest categories you want me to include for next month. If you are unaware, you can get major student discounts on most of the stores using UNiDAYS P.S: Please do not come for me as I am not a fashion expert. I just like what I like. *none of these images are mine and are featured on the respective websites. affiliate links may be used. Click on images to shop! TOPS DENIM HEAVEN OUTERWEAR Hello (to my four loyal followers, I love you) guys! I’m back again like I never left. Now I’m thinking about trying something new and sort of different with my blog. It is an interest of mine but I never intended to have a whole platform dedicated to this (and I might not) however I thought there really is no harm in trying and if doesn’t work out I’ll just stop. All this rambling is just to say that I would start doing must-haves i.e. I would go on websites I usually shop at and pick a few items from different categories to put in a compiled list of what I am lusting over and suppose you would like too. Since I plan on doing this monthly, I will only feature the new items stores have to offer which means having items out of stock is most definitely not going to happen! Imagine a world where everything is always in stock; the ultimate dream. I’m really excited to do this as I am always saving items to my wishlist and never actually make purchases (the life of a broke student). So you guys can buy all the bomb items I cannot afford and I can live my dreams through all of you. I honestly get a huge sense of accomplishment when I help people and I know this would be no exception. *Please do not come for me as I am not a fashion expert. I just like what I like.
Creatives are now making a living from their passion which is great but as usual with life, everything comes at a price. I have come to the realisation that I will sound lazy and as if I am making excuses when addressing (my) consistency on the blogosphere (honestly thought I made up this word but apparently it already exists). My inconsistency got me thinking and I started to question why I felt so bothered about being inconsistent. Why do I feel I have to be consistent (have a shot every time I mention the word ‘consistent’ and its variations) with blogging and think if I am not consistent I might as well scrap it all together?
Most blogs have a certain aesthetic because they are a source of income/intend to be to the blogger. Since it is now a job more effort is made to be consistent, good content have to be put up frequently to be noticed and receive recognition; look at this as a way of showing up to work. Everything, every post has to be well thought of and up to par, everything has to have a particular vibe because they are building up a brand and frankly no one wants to be behind a shit brand. I have had ideas that I could’ve published, I’ve even planned a post and intended to have a photoshoot to go with it but didn’t publish it all because the photoshoot didn’t happen. Why was a photoshoot needed in the first place? Why was the word post not enough? The first thing that usually pops up in my head is “is this post blog-worthy?” Blog-worthy? What does that even mean? Who is assessing it to deem it worthy? I don’t know, is this just a me problem? In no way am I referring to digital influencers as shallow and this is not to discourage people from striving for greatness and being the possible best they can be. By every means improve and get better but don’t feel inadequate if your blog doesn’t seem to be on the same level as “professional bloggers’”. If you want to pursue blogging as a career please put in your all, create a timeline and monitor your growth, be true to yourself and do the absolute most to make sure it becomes your version of successful. I’m just saying someone who has no intention to profit from blogging will see a blog that looks good and since as humans we always strive to be better it automatically raises the standard of what the mind perceives to be a good blog. They may unintentionally try to improve theirs, almost forgetting that this is in fact not their means of income. You have to realise that BLOGGING IS YOUR FAVOURITE BLOGGER’S JOB! This is how they earn $$$; do not aim to have an aesthetically pleasing blog at the detriment of other aspects of your life. It’s nice to have everything looking all instagram-esque (yeah, this is definitely not a word) but ultimately blogging is supposed to be an outlet to bring your thoughts to life in form of a post. You shouldn’t feel pressured to make your blog look a certain way or have a certain feel to it. Your thoughts are not scheduled and neither should your blog posts. So if blogging does not become my job, I do not intend to make it my job. I will keep updating as inconsistently as I want to with my one (and sometimes two) liner posts with no pictures. The new academic year is so close by so I couldn't think of a more appropriate time to make this post. I'm putting this up because I personally know how nerve-wracking it can be to start sixth form and/or to move schools having done both (at the same time) last year. Also, I know I would have loved to have read a post on sixth form/college which doesn’t include the typical university tips and advice.
There are probably a million and one aspects of this new experience you are about to go through that you are worrying about but I assure you once you start and get settled in it wouldn’t be such a big deal. So I’m just going to give you some tips as a previous year 12 student on this aspect of your life Tip #1 You won’t be friendless Don’t worry too much about making friends because (here comes the cliché part) everyone is most likely in the same position as you. You do not have to change who you are to make friends, just be your lovely self and be confident and you’ll find yourself drawn to people who are similar to you that you can be friends with. The people you hang around with in the first week may not be the people you would chill with for your time at your college, so don’t be upset or think there’s something wrong with you if you all part ways. Tip #2 Do what you love not the one that would get you an easy A Most people are undecided on what they want to do when they get older or even get to university and that’s okay. As long as you choose subjects you are interested in and love you will be fine with the workload. If you’re doing subjects you love, you won’t find the lessons boring (well most of the lessons, there are some topics that you might dislike). If it turns out to be challenging, you wouldn’t really mind because you have a genuine interest in it(or is it just me?) I chose a subject because I believed it would get me an easy A. I had a bit of interest in the subject but it was obvious that it wasn’t something I enjoyed compared to my other options and right now I cannot wait to drop it even if I did get an A. I just don’t think I can endure sitting in one of those lessons ever again. Tip #3 Put a little more effort in I personally don’t think A-Levels are as difficult and challenging as people make it out to be. It really just requires a little bit more effort and a lot of dedication. Try to procrastinate less, trust me I’m fully aware of how hard this is. If you give it your all it’ll be okay and it’ll definitely be worth it in the end! :) Tip #4 You don’t have to break the bank I do know how tempting it is to buy everything you see for sixth form due to the freedom of never having to wear a uniform ever again but as my mum usually says, “cut your coat according to your size”. You don’t have to get all new clothing items all at once if you can’t afford it at the moment and if I’m being truthful it’s really not needed. After a few months no one would really care about what you wear and how you look, just be comfortable. Planning outfits to wear can become rather tiring and exhausting so what can help is having a selection of items (you can change these every season or every 2 terms) you wear to school and just play around with those. A tip for Grammar School students or colleges that require co-operate dressing is to have a uniform (just when you thought you were free from that). Get at least 5 tops so don’t repeat clothing during the week and just wear those as you would a uniform. Get about 3 extra pieces you can wear to switch it up once in a while because you might get tired of your uniform. For those times you feel like you need new clothing when in reality you just want it just remind yourself that you are in college to study not to dress up. you can always make co-operate wear look less boring by adding statement necklaces, wearing different cardis and different types/colour of shoes Tip #5 Folders are your best friends Organisation at this stage in life is essential. I would suggest one folder for each subject and a plastic wallet for miscellaneous items. The 12-part dividers for each folder also come in handy. You can choose to get a small folder for different units in a subject but an excellent tip is to get sticky tabs to demarcate spaces for different units whilst using the same folder. It just means about 3 less folders to carry around but one large one; totally up to you. Tip #6 Grammar Schools are not all that From my experience, I can say that Grammar Schools are not portrayed for what they are and the general public do not have a true view of what Grammar Schools are about. Don’t just choose a sixth because it’s a Grammar School do your research about it and be sure it’s the place for you. You’ll easily be disappointed when you get there and find out there isn’t much difference between it and a normal college/sixth form. There might be better teachers and there might not be, there’ll definitely be a teacher you do not like that’s almost inevitable. Just be sure to weigh all your choices and choose the one that’s the most suitable for you. Tip #7 Have fun! Please savour every moment of college/sixth fun and have fun while working hard as well. You don’t want to look back wishing you had done something or regretting you hadn’t done something. Join extra-curricular clubs at school and outside school to keep yourself active and happy. Find something you truly love doing outside school and go out with your friends who you don’t see as often. Make amazing memories with your new friends and enjoy life before the next chapter begins. If you made it this far, well done! I'm quite aware I rambled on a lot but I just like giving advice and I wanted to ensure you all are getting the real deal in great detail. I know I didn’t touch every aspect and questions you might have, so feel free to leave a comment below with your questions. Also, if you read everything go get yourself a cookie, give yourself a pat on the back because you are the real MVP. |
About meHello, I'm Ayo and welcome to my soon to be exciting world! Join me as I go through life's ups and downs which leads to me learning more about life and myself. Archives
December 2020
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